Sea Mother

A step away from the usual I move out into the utter light of day under a mind of dark, a subconscious trained only to see the darker side of life and each being, tormented by demons unknown. Like a shadow of grey moving among the shiny happy people under the watchful eyes of Ra, a student of Anubis walks unchallenged. The light burns thru my skin my eyes blinded by light yet I walk on paths unknown oblivious to hurt or pain.
Guideless and alone in a world full of aliens stuck in mundane, I walk observing.
Until I reach the end of land and a sea of silver greets my dark shadow lost among the many puddles of ink. There sat a shade among the goddess of life, begging at her feet for a drought of understanding. Humbled by her, so silent, so subtle one was lost to the fathomless sea.
Encircled by silver light alone on the last rock a broken soul looking for peace and tranquility sat I. Lost yet found again in the beginning of life a soul devoted to death, finally cracks succumbs to the human trapped inside and the mail of darkness gives away.
There I sat long naked in the blinding light engulfed in light. The sounds slowly drown away the cries of birds, the wind on leaves, the water on rock, the click of crustaceans over powered by a silent force to gentle to notice. In silence hallowed by life her self sat one deemed to die, a mortal once more.
In the midst of a thousand fires upon the mounds of the sea I awoke to greet my dark, starless sky, alone in the dark of shadows. I raise to the doom place before me. With a last glance at the fading light I smile and walk into darkness enjoying the cold consuming my body. A memory of the silent light burns deep inside leading a broken soul to a darker dark.

the end

Let me lie under the great blue sky
Let me die in green seas of bliss
Let me look you once more in the eye
Let no shadow fall upon ur’ face
When upon me death turns his mace

Ever wonder how it will all end, the great story of our lives? I wish mine would end thus- and he lived happily ever after unto the ends of his days, yet some how deep inside my being I know my happily after is shrowed in mist and is yet unknown (note I say unknown).
Deep have I given thought to which path I trod upon, and as I look back I have come a long way and not spent much time looking around, it about time I lessen my pace and enjoy the journey, may be this be the vodka speaking. Yet a another day passes by, at the end of it my thoughts wonder as autumn leaves in the chill wind, scattered in chaos, yet one rest in the center of it all, in the green of its youth it would tell a story some thing like this –
It’s a afternoon, Sunday afternoon during the summer of 94, I am a few months past 4, and I waiting for some thing or someone, with my head resting on a thin window sill of grey marble, against the dark wooden window frame with blue nets, then my catch him in my gaze a thin old man, who looked only but a shadow of his past glory, yet some thing about him, was noble, his back only a little bent, his head held low yet a un broken smile of utter joy could not be hidden, he held a long black umbrella with a silver spike and a black leather bag which was a little weather worn but not too shabby, a news paper was folded under his left arm, but non of this was more captivating that his eyes a fire undying burned in them, yet it was a fire that did not burn to destroy but to bring warmth to all those caught in dreaded cold. I leave my watch post and dash to the balcony, in a blink I jump over the rails as light as a cat and rush up to greet him at the gate.
That great man was my grand-dad and was much like a father to me, he died about 7 years ago yet he has never quite left us, jokes we laughed on movies we watched have been immortalized in my memory. He died in his sleep I didn’t need the doctors to tell me he had a peaceful send off. He always slept peacefully. I think he knew it was his last day, yet he was not afraid and faced death and my heart tells me he laughed out loud in the face of death but I like to believe he asked death for a dance. He lived every day with a smile and died with laughter on his lips.
I wonder how I shall meet my end I wonder if I could match his last, but no I cant I strayed away from the path he lead me on and I doubt I can find my way back. I don’t think ill face death with any laughter; I don’t think I’ll ever sleep the long sleep.