the end

Let me lie under the great blue sky
Let me die in green seas of bliss
Let me look you once more in the eye
Let no shadow fall upon ur’ face
When upon me death turns his mace

Ever wonder how it will all end, the great story of our lives? I wish mine would end thus- and he lived happily ever after unto the ends of his days, yet some how deep inside my being I know my happily after is shrowed in mist and is yet unknown (note I say unknown).
Deep have I given thought to which path I trod upon, and as I look back I have come a long way and not spent much time looking around, it about time I lessen my pace and enjoy the journey, may be this be the vodka speaking. Yet a another day passes by, at the end of it my thoughts wonder as autumn leaves in the chill wind, scattered in chaos, yet one rest in the center of it all, in the green of its youth it would tell a story some thing like this –
It’s a afternoon, Sunday afternoon during the summer of 94, I am a few months past 4, and I waiting for some thing or someone, with my head resting on a thin window sill of grey marble, against the dark wooden window frame with blue nets, then my catch him in my gaze a thin old man, who looked only but a shadow of his past glory, yet some thing about him, was noble, his back only a little bent, his head held low yet a un broken smile of utter joy could not be hidden, he held a long black umbrella with a silver spike and a black leather bag which was a little weather worn but not too shabby, a news paper was folded under his left arm, but non of this was more captivating that his eyes a fire undying burned in them, yet it was a fire that did not burn to destroy but to bring warmth to all those caught in dreaded cold. I leave my watch post and dash to the balcony, in a blink I jump over the rails as light as a cat and rush up to greet him at the gate.
That great man was my grand-dad and was much like a father to me, he died about 7 years ago yet he has never quite left us, jokes we laughed on movies we watched have been immortalized in my memory. He died in his sleep I didn’t need the doctors to tell me he had a peaceful send off. He always slept peacefully. I think he knew it was his last day, yet he was not afraid and faced death and my heart tells me he laughed out loud in the face of death but I like to believe he asked death for a dance. He lived every day with a smile and died with laughter on his lips.
I wonder how I shall meet my end I wonder if I could match his last, but no I cant I strayed away from the path he lead me on and I doubt I can find my way back. I don’t think ill face death with any laughter; I don’t think I’ll ever sleep the long sleep.